before the fight, after the transcendence, *no responses*
I have layed Ron down, he is still in the spell, and I can't even write four words without looking at him. Fear is paralyzing me, I can't even imagine how anyone manages to deal properly with stress -- I've never experienced this feeling, like my insides have disappeared, and they are currently being hungover, and though they aren't in my body, there is an invisible umbilical chord of tingling pain, which transfers the feelings of previously mentioned insides to me. My throat burns with uncried tears, and my heart feels to break any minutes. I can't even . . . no . . . God, why are things so wrong?
I left a month and a half ago to start my new life from that which my father told me to make, and suddenly I return to discover that he wishes to keep me here. I hate this, hate that suddenly I am something different, something that is terrifying.
A Reborn . . . I had only heard about them . . . read of them in the scrolls that Healer Wife keeps. I cannot be that, they have . . . there are powers I know I cannot have. Things that I do not want to have, there . . . I wouldn't have fallen in love with Ron, though I worry . . . perhaps I am, which is why they seem so eager to let him fight Teoma. Merlin, please save him. I love him . . . I can't lose him, I would . . . I would die.